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Tak three way dating app nak rasa pantat Milah. Ni Mat, haritu lelaki yang dikategorikan oleh ppuan tu lu berbeza dan berbaloi untuk dimiliki. So waspadala takut lu nanti hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan.
Mesti tak berbunyikan. Atas permintaan pembaca, jadi akak sambung saja cerpen ni terhasil selepas menonton drama korea tajuk yg sama tapi ini Melayu Stail. Bila K-Pop jadi pujaan, nak tau kisah lanjut, Airil Farhan namamu kini di hatiku. It's an addiction that's rooted in the need for survival. I've been on the gay dating app Grindr since I was 18, but even before that, I was a young gay kid.
I was one of very, very few LGBT people in a small town who was open about their sexuality, chatting with other potential romantic partners - OK, this was before " Catfish" and I was naive.
No, I never met anyone as a kid, but I was using the internet as a substitutional lifeline for the normal teenage milestones that I just didn't have the privilege of partaking in.
After years and years, it's become second nature to me, and though I now live in New York City and often meet plenty of men in bars and get hit on in real life, I still find myself reverting back to reaching for my phone and those good old dating apps out of comfort, familiarity, and of course, boredom. Dating apps have grown tremendously in popularity. Here's the problem: I feel as though sometimes I'm a little too reliant on these forms of technology for something as important to me as dating.
For one thing, I'm aware that they often provide a platform for things like racism and body-shaming, which I've seen first-hand. I've also experienced that digital communication can lead to miscommunications about things like relationships as opposed to simple hookups or one-night stands, which I'm not necessarily looking for as time goes on.
Also, I sometimes feel myself getting a little too much validation from compliments or getting hit on by faceless, nameless, or unfamiliar people on apps. It feels as though I'm not living in the moment when real, actual guys could be hitting on me or approaching me.
And I've always secretly dreamed of just meeting someone face to face, the old fashioned way. I blame romantic comedies. I decided to give up all of my most used apps, try out this old fashioned dating style of yore, and hopefully ultimately break my addiction to staring nose-deep in my iPhone, ignoring the impending arrival of the love of my life.
Day one played out exactly as I expected it to. In those more mundane moments, I reached for my phone and to quote Taylor Swift, a blank space greeted me. What would I do now as a substitute? This was particularly difficult before bed, when I check apps kind of as a winding down procedure before going to sleep, sweet dreams of "hey what's up" and "you're cute" playing in my head.
I stared at the ceiling. Counting sheep just wasn't as fun. After that, I realized that this was proof how ultimately unhealthy my relationship to dating apps really could be. This wasn't what these things were even intended for, yet here I was using them as a social crutch or retreat during times of monotony as well as some sort of strange bedtime story.
I learned that I had to put myself out there. And actually, I ended up feeling much more relaxed and refreshed before setting my alarm and turning my phone over on my nightstand for the night. But I also noticed two things after a few days: I was thirsty for compliments, feeling disconnected from that sense of male validation. I was also feeling very detached from the dating scene because if I didn't have these handy mini-matchmaking tools at my fingertips, how would I meet men?
Turns out old-fashioned dating is actually a whole lot of work.