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When the movie was over, he goes to the bathroom again, still with a tremondously long line. So he figures he can wait until he drops her off. When they pull up into her driveway, she exclaims, "Oh goodie.
My grandparents are here. Come on in and meet them. They go in and sit down at the table. Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer a tried to let it seep out a little at a time.
As he squeezed out a toxic blast, he aimed it towards the family's hound dog Duke, in hopes that they might blame the pooch for the horrendous fart. The girl's father stands up and hollers "Duke! Once again, the girl's father stands up, shouts "Duke! Finally, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever heard or smelt rippled through the dining room. The girl's father stands up again. What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates.
The guy says, "No, ma'am. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.
Here's your baby. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. Older kids use a dating website on their computers. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date.
She could probably screw all night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: My friend and colleague David DeAngelo just made an amazing video - that has a very special announcement in it for you: But watch this quick video now, as he's only going to leave this up for a couple of days.
The Perfect Date One day a perfect man and a perfect woman went out on a date. They had planned a perfect evening.
They wore their perfect clothes and drove a perfect car, and after a while they passed a stranger in distress. The stranger turned out to be Santa Claus, stranded with a bag of toys. They offered him a lift and started driving again. Soon the weather got bad, driving conditions got nasty, and they had a bad accident.
Only one of them survived. Who was it? It was the perfect woman. Women, stop reading now. Men, keep reading. This explains the accident. Women never listen! Women's Dating Conversation Two single women meet for coffee.