Query: I am going through a very difficult phase. My best friend, whom I have known since school days, is dating my ex-girlfriend. It's been 5. After I found out my ex and friend were dating, I cried for hours on my best friend's couch. There was a seam in the sofa that had been wearing.
She and I were soul sisters, spoke vampire academy greek online dating the phone for hours, had sleepovers all the time. She was my rock. She started to date this guy and four months after they broke up we started to see each other. Also, I friiend so much about their relationship. Mariella replies Move on, or backpedal a bit? I know the world we live in now is based on the giancee of forward momentum — best friend dating ex fiancee to the fore, sights set on future goals and opportunities.
It hurts to feel rejected by a partner, it hurts more when your friend "betrays" you and starts seeing your ex. I know how that feels and I know it sucks. The thing is Even if your friend had come to you first and told you about their intentions, it still hurts.
It's easy to say that if they had done things this way, or that way, it would hurt less, but in my experience it doesn't.
Having been in the others roles of this situation, I can tell you that they didn't do that to you. They most likely got together the way most couples do, and that didn't really have anything to do with you. They're not dating to hurt you, they're dating because they like each other. With all of that out of the way, your question was: My issue is that given our history, I have no idea what my appropriate attitude should be towards them and how to interact with them when it comes to it.
What would be a mature way to handle it, without me looking like a beaten dog? I know that's hard to hear right now, I hated hearing it too, and I hated saying it more.
Like even before a kind-of date. Or it might be totally fine. Or it might be somewhere in-between. But unless you ask, will you ever know? Why ask? But it matters, nonetheless. I know men typically like to have control over situations or at least feel like we have control. I imagine that most women like to have the same sense of consent.
But either way, think about it: At the very least, it shows her the respect that she deserves given that you have had a relationship. By asking, you let your friend know that you care about the friendship at stake. Extenuating Circumstances Of course, not all situations are created equal.
Sure, it might make for good cinema, but at what point are you willing to end friendships, complicate entire friend groups, and potentially divide families? We all want to be happy, and most of us are looking for someone with whom to live happily ever after. If you go about it the right way, many of these complicated relationships can, at the very least, be given a shot.
The most important thing, as is true in most cases, is to be proactive, communicate clearly, and be thoughtful and considerate, especially when there are strong emotions involved.