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He will probably be a chivalrous guy — opening doors, pushing out chairs, walking on the outside of you on a sidewalk. All those little things that make a BIG difference. And that means there will be an air of hyper-masculinity any time the boys are present. Independent you are. In one sense, they are one of the best at dealing with women who want both independence and interdependence.
His strength and demeanor will also always make you feel safe. Especially if they were in combat, it will likely affect the way they see the world.
So while their exterior may be hard, many will also have centers that are soft and mushy inside. These things happen. You need to try your hardest to understand, get him to eventually talk about it preferably to a professional and pretty much avoid all triggers like war movies.
Enjoy the fun facts. You will be inundated with more random facts about places like the Middle East or the South than you care to cram into your brain.
Trust me, eventually, they will come up. I won a round of trivia just because I knew the currency in Bahrain. I am a sucker for someone who is passionate about his work. Service members fight to defend our country. Let him do the driving. Military men are used to being thrown into countries and situations with which they are unfamiliar, so when traveling, always expect to have a great navigator around.
Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. His may be unimaginable to you, but that does not make him any better or worse. Dating a service member is not all fun and games; it takes a lot of work and patience, but if you are interested in the person and not just the uniform, then he is definitely worth the pursuit.
Also, if you are lucky enough to date one or some! Just be a decent human being and you will get decency back. Gabrielle Puglia is a free spirit with a wild heart. Perpetual overthinker, good-doer, book nerd, wine connoisseur and amateur world traveler. Be prepared and try to understand that 3 to 6 months of bro bonding time really is not healthy for a man, and he has to do what he has to do to overcome that. He is desensitized to face-to-face interactions.
The majority of these guys- especially the ones who have deployed during the last 12 years to Iraq or Afghanistan, had the gift and the curse of the Internet at their disposal. They used Myspace, Facebook, e-mail, texts, and all other written mediums in order to communicated with their loved ones- on a limited basis. So sitting down one-on-one may be really challenging and uncomfortable. Again- call a girlfriend or your gay bestie for a coffee date and get that gossip-craving satisfied.
He probably has a negative opinion of women. But come on. And she probably spent all of his money. Be aware of his hesitations.