However, with speed dating, it's not without its issues. so because they are simply too busy to meet someone and spend time going on repetitive first dates, so they If you are nervous about speed dating, you are not alone. Click for 9 reasons why you should try speed dating this year including getting You don't have to go it alone when it comes to speed dating.
When going speed dating alone the one who always has the crazy dating stories Never again. Now before I get into my experience as a speed dater, I must include a few disclaimers. I only represent my personal opinion 2. The host determines how successful or unsuccessful the event can be 4.
I met up with an entrepreneur who introduced me to his mom, then told me he'd just thrown up multiple times from food poisoning. Oh, and there was that actor who described a porn film shoot for me in graphic detail but didn't care for the fact that I'm not religious. I'm the type of person who will put in a ton of research if I think I can improve at something.
So I thought a great way to spend Friday the 13th, which was also the night before Valentine's Day , was to make a list of the common dating tips I've found for ladies and execute them rapid fire while speed dating for the first time. It's a Kate Hudson romcom in the making, except it was set in a sh--ty dive bar in Koreatown playing way too many DJ Mustard remixes. A photo posted by Julia Hays juliaevehays on Feb 13, at 7: Please enjoy the highlights of my evening, and let me preface by saying, I will not be streaming Bad Boys II on Netflix over a cocktail and spring rolls with any of these gentleman in the future.
Oh, well! Just One of the Guys: On my first date of the evening my goal was to be laidback and maybe a little tomboyish—to seem like a lady who would get along with his pals.
I kept bringing the conversation back to my love for sports. I told him that I played tennis, loved hiking and co-ed rec activities, and was very active in fantasy leagues. Approximately four minutes in he asked, "Why do you keep talking about sports; were you raised in a family of all men or something? Not only did he disapprove of an athletic lady, he couldn't finish the date and just not pick me—he needed to tell me, to my face, something was wrong with me.
Don't be into "guy things? He just sucks. Be Agreeable: On my next date I aimed to please. If he liked a thing, so did I! It can be nice to point out common interests, right? You're just some white girl rolling around to rap? Sure, whatever. The hip-hop snob told me he worked in finance, so I said "Oh, cool!
My favorite podcast is Marketplace with Kai Ryssdal. I don't own stocks or anything, but I love following the latest business and trade news. Right, OK. If you agree with someone they may try to inflict needless conflict for funsies? That or this guy actually hates everything he said he loves Ask for Advice: The next gentleman seemed excited to be able to help me and answer all my questions. What is his favorite place in Los Angeles? Where can I sample the best local brews?
Only problem with this date: None of my three serious relationships — including my marriage — started with dating: In contrast, dating feels like a contrived hassle, a social annoyance. So of course, I decided to speed date. My friend Annalisa and I went out to dinner recently.
We were talking about men, relationships… you know the drill. We were chatting about being in a rut and needing to get out there again. But how? At a minimum, we could laugh about the experience together. After all, I could write about it. But also, in my job as a law and society analyst, I spend so much of my time researching people who grapple with divorce.
A huge part of divorce is what comes after. In these cases, important legal decisions can hinge on very personal perceptions of future possibilities. Plus I asked my Facebook universe if I should do it, and they insisted that I should. So I bought the ticket. I was committed. The evening arrived. I hopped in my car and checked traffic conditions on my phone.
Downtown traffic was going to suck. No… I had to go. I could not let my Facebook universe down. En route, I drove by a great Mexican restaurant. At one point I got stuck behind a slow truck hauling a huge trailer of chairs. Was I scared? Was I nervous? No, I had no expectations. Then I realized what it was: I was being protective of my time and my space.
I have been single for so long, and in that time I have been incredibly picky about how I spend every one of my moments. But it was time to let go. It was time to realize that I have never truly known if all that control I was exerting was empowering or stifling.
Oh, the power of social media. And the regret of proclaiming something online when you should keep your social media mouth shut.
I finally braved the downtown crowd and got there. It was at a small but hip hotel bar. I could give you a play-by-play of what happened from there, but why do that when I can skip around and tell you what you really want to know?
Did I meet the love of my life? I work in statistics, and knew the probability of that happening would be slim to none. I actually asked another female participant if she expected to meet the love her life. She was petite and in her early 40s; she wore jeans, no makeup, and had short salt-and-pepper hair.
I am done chasing ghosts. I honestly have no idea. What I do know is that the few women I met were delightful. Friendly, at ease, genuine. What were the men like? They were the guys who, in most social situations, might watch rather than participate.
They might get overlooked for men with more bravado and better physiques. This all made them more interesting to me. They had regular jobs — in real estate, in business, at a bank, etc. They wore regular clothes — one guy had stitched jeans very , one wore a convincing fake leather jacket yes, I touched it , some wore blazers, one a full suit he came straight from work.
One was really tall.