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That's definitely possible, but I wouldn't know unless I talked to more Japanese girls dating non-Japanese guys about it. But, there were some other "first meeting" places mentioned a decent amount as well. Though, "English" does come up later in the "communication" section of this article, so perhaps there is something to it? Expectations Of The Man We'll talk more about this a lot more in the What It's Like To Date A Japanese Guy post since I think that perspective is more interesting here, but let's take a quick look at what you, the dude, is expected to do.
First of all, you're going to be paying for everything… that is, except purikura actually part of a story I'll put in the opposite version of this article , because girls can pay for that on their own.
If you go out on a date for dinner, be prepared to pay for the food. No splitting the bills or BS like that, because you're the guy and you're going to pay. Of course, there's exceptions to this "rule" and there will be girls out there willing and asking to pay for date-related things, but that's not the norm. That being said, if you end up living together or visiting her home, you won't be expected to do any of the housework or cooking.
There were a couple exceptions to the cooking rule where the guy really loved cooking and insisted on cooking , but for the most part it's expected that you're going to let them do all of that. There will also be some interesting cultural differences, depending on where you're from. Expect more gift-giving to happen from girls. This is one thing that seemed to pop up in the surveys that surprised people a lot, for some reason.
Japan is a very gift-giving culture so it makes sense, but just be sure to be ready for it. My favorite quote has nothing to do with gift giving, however, and has to do with going on a movie-date.
We were on a movie date and she refused to let me hold the popcorn bag. She actually held it there for me for over 2 hours. Also, she has given me several little gifts pretty early on. Typically I wouldn't expect that here. I don't want to spoil too much from the girl's perspective article though, so I'm going to stop here. But, the above should give you an idea of where to start at least, should you find yourself in the position of dating a Japanese girl.
Showing Affection Affection and how you show it tends to be a bigger topic on the "girls dating Japanese guys" side of things, but we'll go over some of the bigger points here and you'll have to wait for more of the stories and such in the next article.
In general, Japanese people don't show as much affection towards each other in public or in private, for that matter compared to Western couples. This surprises a lot of people at first. There's a lack of hand holding, hugging, kissing, and so on in public places. Some people even complained that "the first kiss" happens way later than you'd expect, though others said that sex tends to happen sooner than they expect. I suppose both of those statements could be true at the same time, though.
There were some Japanese girl perspectives in the survey I ran and thankfully a couple of them talked about this topic as well as the topic of physical affection. It's more important to understand each other than it is to show how much I love someone through touching. It adds some mystery to the relationship. If you always touch each other, then it's not special anymore when you do.
It's how you show you love someone, right? In Japan that's not the way you do it and "understanding of the other person" becomes more important. This was also brought up a lot in terms of non-physical affection. One complaint I saw a lot was that non-Japanese guys had trouble knowing what the girl was thinking and feeling.
It's certainly the Japanese way to not come out and directly say how you're feeling about something, so this has caused a few problems in respondents' relationships. In Japan, you're expected to be able to read and understand people and how they're feeling, even though they're not showing it or telling you. That being said, Japanese people spend their entire lives learning how to do this whereas in the West we tend to just say what's on our mind so this "skill" never really develops.
A lot of people in the surveys thought their girlfriend was being cold to them, but in reality they were just being normal and the guy was expected to know what was going on. Or, when the girl was upset about something she wouldn't really say it, and it would become a problem when the guy didn't realize. It's safe to say that you should pay extra close attention to noticing cues she may send out.
If you miss them you may not think it's a big deal, but after a while she will think you're selfish and mean. Communicating and talking about this issue has also proven helpful to some. Meeting Her Family "Meeting the family" seemed to be one of the things that a lot of people were initially nervous about then figured out that it wasn't so big of a deal.
Most families are nice, accepting, and won't try to kill you in your sleep because you're dating their precious Japanese daughter. Almost everyone had a great experience meeting the family… that is except for one respondent, who has an awesome story. Keep in mind, this is probably not the norm.
Also note that this Japanese girl also grew up partially in Japan and partially in LA will make more sense as you read it: Dad was old school Japanese and hated my guts. At New Year's time, my girlfriend invited me over — I was off work with not much going on, so I suppose she didn't want me to feel lonely or call any of her friends back.
New Year's Eve day, and of course they're cleaning the house, for company the next day. I didn't understand oshogatsu protocol very well, and didn't think this was a big deal.
I wanted to help clean, but of course they wouldn't hear of it, and sat me down in in front of the TV while they worked. I was just getting into watching The Highlander without subtitles when I heard a row starting in the kitchen through the door that separated it from the room I was in. At this point, i asked mom if i should leave. Girlfriend stomped off from dad into the room I was in. Dad followed her very mad at this point telling her how a respectful Japanese daughter should never walk away from her elder when she was being talked to, and he slapped her face.
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