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Frequent interaction is the third technique, which focuses on talking about your day, your thoughts and your experiences as often as possible.
He also focuses on "sharing power," which is the idea of working together with your partner instead of against him. Sharing power consists of solving simple problems quickly, understanding the feelings that make a person refuse to compromise and creating a shared understanding of each other's values, attitudes and interests.
Purpose The purpose of these communication styles is to create an open, understanding method of communication. Gottman admits that conflict is inevitable in any relationship; avoiding conflict is not only unhealthy, but impossible. The important thing about conflict is to resolve it with full understanding of the feelings and emotions of both sides of the conflict. An open communication style will create an atmosphere where conflict can be resolved without leaving lingering bad feelings.
According to Gottman, couples who do not practice these communication styles have a doomed relationship. Styles to Avoid Gottman has identified four communication styles that he believes will actively doom a relationship. He identifies these as the "four horsemen of the apocalypse. Criticism is criticizing and judging the behavior of somebody. A complaint, on the other hand, is a critique of one behavior, without judging the person. A complaint is acceptable, as it is non-judgmental.
Criticism makes a person feel negative about himself. Contempt is the second horseman.