If you let him off easy the first time around that he stood you up and now he has done so again, you have got to learn your lesson and let this. Now, if women hate getting stood up, why would they do it to a man? One of my male dating coaching clients told me he's been stood up several times in the last two Online Dating: How Can I Handle All the Rejection?.
Posted by: Brad In a online dating stood up a few weeks ago, I gave some additional details online dating stood up my online dating experience. After writing that post, I decided I wanted to talk specifically about some of my dates in detail. Photo by Peter Clark For my Eskort hbg escort girls stockholm topic on the subject, I wanted to talk about the time I was stood up and offer my thoughts topic. I had been talking through email with a girl that I will refer to as Cathy who seemed very sweet and was attractive.
After writing that post, I decided I wanted to talk specifically about some of my dates in detail. Photo by Peter Clark For my first topic on the subject, I wanted to talk about the time I was stood up and offer my thoughts topic.
I had been talking through email with a girl that I will refer to as Cathy who seemed very sweet and was attractive. However, from the very start she expressed worries with dating online. It took many attempts and two months before she would agree to go on a first date and even then she seemed nervous. The day of our first date arrived but Cathy never did. This made me very angry because we had been talking for so long I had thought we were something of friends at this point.
I contacted her again expressing my disappointment and she gave me some excuses. I told her I thought she was lying and that she was just scared but I still wanted to meet her if she would promise to show up. Cathy did show for the next date and it was a nice date. We walked around and then had a coffee together. Honestly, even though I had been stood up the previous date, I had a nice time and could even see myself going on more dates with her.
However, the next night I ended up meeting the woman I would marry. I felt bad emailing Cathy and telling her I had met someone that I wanted to pursue a relationship with further. I let her know that I did enjoy spending time with her…but I still felt horrible: The truth was she just had really bad timing. Being stood up is awkward enough…adding the task of having to explain things to your waitress only makes things worse.
If your date has expressed concerns with meeting people using online dating then make your first date as stress free for them as possible. Looking back, I believe Cathy found the idea of a short date where we took a walk and had a coffee together much more inviting than an hour of one-on-one time over a meal.
For all the good I found with online dating, the act of standing someone up seems to happen more often with it than with traditional dating. My action in this case is not an endorsement of giving anyone a second chance after they have stood you up.
However, I do want to discuss some things to keep in mind if you are considering giving someone as second chance: Excuses are no good. The world we live in is all about communicating quickly and easily. I'm conflicted. On the one hand, she's hot, and I still want to meet her. On the other hand, I feel like she treated me badly, and I don't want to reward that.
So what do I do? Should I say yes? Go out with her again. Swallow your pride and accept free alcohol. This may not be the answer you want. I feel like you probably want me to call her a hideous wench, and tell you to banish her from your phone forever as a punishment for violating your dignity.
And I get where you're coming from. Being ghosted on truly, truly sucks. It takes a lot of guts to ask somebody out, especially in today's weird culture of romance, where if your advances aren't conducted in a perfectly graceful manner, you might find yourself being mocked on Twitter, or accused of perpetrating toxic masculinity.
You did a good thing, and you didn't get rewarded for it — you sat alone for most of an hour while a waitress gave you pitying looks. She disrespected you. And, usually, in this column and elsewhere, I advise dudes to take disrespect seriously. Like, if she cheated on you, don't take her back. If she doesn't listen to your concerns about her coterie of apparently interested male friends seriously, you should probably dump her.
Many men are afraid to stick up for themselves. You shouldn't be. But, though it's important to stand by your principles generally, it's also important to be mindful of when you might be taking a principle too far. This is one of those cases. Let's do a cost-benefit analysis. If you agree to meet up with this girl one more time, you, at the very least, waste two hours on drinking free expensive cocktails.
At most, you'll get some great sex , or a fun fling, or even a good relationship. That's not a deal you should pass up. With those odds, you should throw the dice. Let me tell you about a date I once had. It was the worst date ever. She was an hour late.
She actually caught me at the door of the bar where we were meeting as I was walking out. Her great excuse? She accidentally fell asleep. After pleading with me not to go, I stuck around. It wasn't worth it.