My first 2 relationships were with guys at least 15 years older than I. Here are the biggest mistakes that older people make and how to avoid them. I have my opinions and can speak from personal experience on the matter. I understand that some women exclusively date older men. Like – it's a criteria before.
Dating an Older Man: Remember when you were a teen and your mom said that girls were two years more mature than guys the same age? Whether you believed it then or not, dating in your 40s or older reveals that dating an older man can have perks over dating a younger man. The good news is: Dating an older man can have some pretty great benefits. There are also, however, some drawbacks to be aware of. Maybe investing it or buying a younger guy dating older guy.
If… …on the first date, he asks your ring size… …he starts shopping for a house for the two of you early on… …he tells you he loves you after only a few dates… …you need to pump the breaks. Speeding into becoming an established couple never works.
If the age difference between you two is significant, expect some raised eyebrows and negative opinions. Many people feel that women who date significantly older men are looking for a substitute for their father. Maybe they had a bad relationship with their dads or maybe he was absent while they grew up. You May Feel Immature Among your friends, you are the mature one. But when you date a much older guy, you may feel like a baby.
You want a man you can learn from, regardless of his age. But his friends are another story altogether. It may be challenging to get them to take you seriously.
It may, quite honestly, turn you off. You may have a meeting of the minds with this man, but are you physically attracted to him as well?
It takes both for a well-rounded relationship. Advice on Dating an Older Man Dating an older man brings you new perspective. If you do decide to date an older guy, realize that the experience will be different from any past relationship.
Be Prepared for a Bumpy Road with Friends and Family I touched on this a minute ago, but things may be challenging as he introduces you to the people who matter to him. Be patient. It will take time for his friends and family to accept you.
It makes them feel powerful and desired if they can snag a much younger woman. Give it time. Ask your friends not to make jokes either. Respect His Past An older man more than likely has a past that involves at least one major relationship. If he has kids, his ex may still be in his life.
You want the same mindset from him. He may also have wisdom gleaned from past relationships that can help you be a better partner. So listen and see what you can learn. Dating a mature man can enhance your life in many ways. Dating an older man will at least give you a new perspective on men and relationships. Bottom line is: He should be kind and loving and meet you in the middle in terms of effort put into a relationship. He should make you feel like a queen. Love it or hate it? Share your tips in the comments below.
There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well.
Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman's current older boyfriend, who was by her side. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him. It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation.
Jackman is 13 years younger than his spouse. Getty Images file After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early twenties. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior.
Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period. He decided this time to accept it. His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older—and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke: It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are.
Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger.
Older women are much more well rounded—they know what they feel and why they feel it. It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey. Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump-start on life.
For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly: My second—I was 28 and she was 41—lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman.
There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality. Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves.
That was very attractive to me. Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on? In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility. Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly. And women my age disapproved of the relationship. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something—I wasn't.
Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person. Most people's reactions have been good.