This is the dance I'd do if my daughter told me she's a lesbian. if your teenage daughter came home with another girl and told you she's her girlfriend .. If you learn your daughter is dating a lesbian how would you react to it. My oldest daughter who is 44, is getting married. friend of mine, in her thirties, felt as you do when her sister was marrying another woman.
My my daughter is dating another girl college daughter announced this week that she was seeing someone. She said her name was blank and that's all I can recall. She has never had a relationship with a boy, or a girl for that matter, so this is a complete shock. We love her completely and cool opening lines for dating to react with compassion and support, but I just don't know what to make of it. Is it for real or merely reaching out to someone caring at a challenging time of her life?
That a lot of people aren't fair to a mixed couple and I don't want her to suffer for this. As I write this it sounds like I'm prejudiced, but I really don't want her to be in pain as a result of this. Is there a way of discouraging these relationships without seeming prejudiced?
Plain and simple. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, prejudice is defined as "an adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts. I understand your concern for the social difficulties that a mixed couple may face, but these tend to be influenced by old, antiquated notions. In addition, you must take into account the possibility that in your daughter's social situation mixed couples may not receive special treatment or prejudice from their peers.
Kids today more frequently have the chance to get to know children of different races, religions and ethnic backgrounds, an opportunity which many of their parents did not have. Either way, I can guarantee that your daughter will not understand your position.
That said, there are two important factors for both of you to take into account when dealing with the subject of boyfriends in general and this situation in particular. I suggest the following two points be discussed between you and your daughter: I believe you need to take a look at your attitude toward the types of people you would want your daughter to associate with. In my mind and this is based upon years of experience dealing with this exact issue with many, many adolescents , the best way to approach this situation is that your child's selection of friends should not be based upon race, but upon merit, values and compatibility.
I suggest setting reasonable guidelines for the kids that she will associate with, such as being a good student, not in trouble with the law, respectful to their parents as well as to you and your family, respectful to your daughter, and involved in athletic or community organizations. These are the benchmarks of good character, regardless of the color of skin, religious affiliation or socioeconomic background.
If your daughter can see that you are fair and that all you want for her is to be with someone of good character, the issue of skin color will be a moot point, both for you and for her. I couldn't look at her.
She was embarrassed and spent most of her time locked in her room. I spent most of my time locked in my room as well, cursing her. Cursing myself. Cursing god even though I don't believe, I had no one else to blame. Cursing whatever genetic anomaly that made my daughter this way - how could she be like this?
But most of all, cursing society. A society that will hate her, not because of something she did, but because of who she is. You see, I'd be lying if I said this doesn't freak me out and even gross me out, because it does.
I want grand kids, and I probably will never have them. I want to brag about my daughter to neighbors, friends, and family, and not be embarrassed that she's dating other women and instead of men. I don't want a daughter who's different from the norm. And yet, that is the hand I dealt. I'm still not speaking to my daughter.